Here at SurrealPolitiks, we do not aspire to make of ourselves a gossip column. Nor do we take a libertarian approach to people’s personal lives.
So, we were met with a bit of a challenge as the news was flooded with remarks about South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem carrying on an extramarital affair with former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, who is also married. On the heels of this, video emerged of US House Member Lauren Boebert getting handsy with her boyfriend in a crowded theater.
Leftist hypocrisy was predictably on full display at both announcements. The people who tell you that gender is a social construct and that marriage is an oppressive patriarchal institution that should be destroyed through promotion of homosexuality, suddenly found themselves very upset at the lascivious conduct of these elected officials and their associated lust interests. A casual observer might celebrate the news that marriage was once again sacred sayeth the moral authority of the Democrat Party, but the inevitable subsequent all ages drag show would quickly dispel such a myth.
We might first note that this demonstrates amply a thing we’ve long said about the Left. They are adept political strategists who make keen observations about the political battlefield, and act on them with reliable and ruthless efficiency. This clashes with the often aired image of them as well meaning if misguided participants in our national discourse, since such savvy observations would not present from people so disconnected from reality as to believe that children benefit from pornography and transgender propaganda in elementary schools.
What the Left does to destroy families is not misguided. It is ruthless and calculating and malicious and intentional. They are at war with the civilizations that host them, and they operate without any of the standards of conduct which usually apply to soldiers on a battlefield. Their wanton pursuit of chaos and destruction is slowed only through force, and no moral premise, law, contract, treaty, or concern for internal consistency may stand in their way.
From the Right, the response was substantially more mixed. Some took the approach that so long as our fellow Republicans hold the line against the Democrats, it is of little consequence how they obtain erotic stimulation. Others were quick to call for resignations and condemn the elected females as bimbos.
In our view, there is no reason to choose between these positions, save for the bit about the resignations.
I read Noem’s book “Not My First Rodeo” in 2022. It was a pathetic joke of a text. Noem had designs to run for President and was clearly instructed by consultants that it would be prudent to first publish a book. She seems to have taken this instruction to mean that any book would do, and strung together a bunch of embellished stories from her childhood as life lessons that prepared her to lead the country.
She is fortunate so few bothered to read it. The real scandal is less that Kristi Noem is cheating on her husband, than that South Dakota elected an idiot for their governor.
Fortunately for South Dakotans, if Noem decides to prudently fade into obscurity, they are unlikely to be ruled by Democrats in the foreseeable future. It is a solidly red state, and it is unlikely whoever replaces her will be any dumber than she.
For Lauren Boebert the calculation is more difficult. There is a legitimate question as to who would replace her as the representative for Colorado’s third Congressional District. The seat has gone back and forth a few times between Republicans and Democrats and whatever you think about her vaping and dating habits, these are of little consequence next to the prospect of Democrat control of the House.
Better a vaping Republican bimbo voting for Biden’s impeachment, than a Drag Queen Democrat voting for Trump’s.
Still, we might aspire to choose better people to represent us in government. It is hardly irrelevant to politics whether a politician is the sort of person to cheat on their spouse. If one cannot abide by the vow of their marriage, there is little reason to expect they will abide by their oath to the constitution, and still less to expect they will make good on promises made on the campaign trail, which are in all cases decidedly more ephemeral.
In the case of Ms. Boebert, there was ample warning she would make a mess. She was born to a single mother who insisted for over 30 years that a professional wrestler had sired her daughter. Two paternity tests disproved this myth, and this leaves one curious as to what sort of woman continues to insist on such a thing after the first should have proven so thoroughly embarrassing. Her lack of shame might be explained by her voter registration records, which show she was a Democrat.
This may also explain why Boebert says she was raised on welfare, and why she got pregnant in high school in the year 2004, and subsequently dropped out. In 2006, at the age of 19, Boebert registered to vote for the first time, as a Democrat. She changed her party affiliation to Republican two years later, but not before marrying her husband, Jayson Boebert, in 2007. She got her GED in 2020, shortly after entering the Republican Primary that would see her enter the US House for the first time.
The Boebert’s have had no shortage of trouble in their relationship, and in May of this year, she filed for divorce citing “irreconcilable differences”. Whether or not one of those differences was her new boyfriend, I am uncertain, but one could understand how this would complicate a marriage.
Now, when I first heard about this story, I was not particularly concerned actually. It might be in poor taste to play frontal massage therapist in a crowded theater, but this is not on its face so out of step with today’s ever more rapidly declining standards of decency. Watching Democrats act outraged by this, as stated earlier, was something I found rather amusing. If Boebert was a drag queen and her date was a toddler, this would be considered mere erotic education by the Left and we would have heard nothing of it in the press.
But Boebert is apparently dating a Democrat herself, one who owns a “gay friendly” bar that has hosted drag shows. Quinn Gallagher, 46, of Colorado, is the co-owner of Hooch Craft Cocktail Bar in Aspen, which he opened with partner Pat Flannigan in April 2016. In January 2020, Aspen Gay Ski Week hosted staged “a winter Wonderland Burlesque & Drag Show,” an invitation for the event reveals. Gallagher’s divorce, unlike Boebert’s, appears to have been finalized some time ago. He is father to three children.
I can tolerate single Lauren Boebert getting handsy in a theater. I can tolerate married Lauren Boebert getting handsy in a theater with her husband. I’m even willing to tolerate separated Lauren Boebert moving on a little too quickly for my comfort levels and getting handsy with the man she hopes to be her future husband.
What I am really upset about is this woman who claims to be a devout Christian divorcing her husband and immediately taking up with a Democrat smut peddler. There’s no plausible scenario where she thought this guy was going to be reformed and come to Jesus with her. She doubtlessly refuses romantic advances from conservatives on a routine basis, and while she runs around claiming to be at the front lines of the fight against Democrat depravity she’s actually sleeping with the enemy.
At least Kristi Noem had the decency to put out for a Republican.
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